37 Weeks Out: Starting to Wonder if I Can Pull This Off

The blog is supposed to document my journey – but I’ve been too busy to write.  Or too tired to write.  Or too negative to write.

It’s a Saturday morning and there are about a half dozen things I should be doing right now.  But I need to document what’s been going on for two reasons.  First, this is my accountability – if you’re reading this YOU are my accountability.  That’s why I started this blog.  I wanted to do this thing publicly so I wouldn’t quit when it got hard.  It’s hard right now.  It would be fair to compare the difficulty now to the difficulty I had when I first started.  In the beginning, it was hard to find the time to get to the gym, to do the food prep, and to organize my work life so that I could find that time.  That’s exactly what’s happening again with my new job.

Second, next summer, I want to revisit the posts from this time so I remember what I had to do to get back on stage.

It feels like all the routines I had established to make this work have been blown to hell.  Food prep had to be changed.  Work schedule is different.  Hubby and I are sharing a car, so I work around that.  I had to join a different gym because it was closer and has 24 hour access, but it has some different equipment, so that has changed my program a bit.

At work, I’m still struggling to be time-efficient in an inefficient system*.  I’ve observed that many people who work there put in 10-12 hour days regularly.  So much so that it is the unspoken norm.  Well, I can’t do that.  I’ve been working 9 hour days and not keeping up.  The admin offered and followed through on changing my schedule so I teach 3 different classes instead of 4 – that happened this week and I can see how that’s going to help.  I’m trying to find workarounds.  Someone suggested I set up my quizzes online using a program that will grade them for me.  However, even though our school has four computer labs, none of them have enough machines for my largest class.  But we do have iPads that will work.  I reserved them two weeks ago, spent an hour to learn the program and set up the quiz, and yesterday morning when I went to pick up the iPads, they were locked in a room and no one around had the key. (Lesson learned – break the rule that says the carts have to be locked up in that room and get them the night before.)

*Most of what’s draining teachers right now comes from mandates from educational leaders who have never been teachers.  Oh, but I digress…

The reason I’m documenting this work stuff is that it is effecting my training in a significantly negative way.  I didn’t realize just how much until I looked at my lifting log yesterday morning.  It took me 11 days to complete a 7-day cycle of lifts.  WTF???  I shouldn’t have looked at that before work yesterday.  I was not a happy person.  I tried to ignore the bubbly new intern in the workroom yesterday, but she really felt the need to introduce herself to me.  But seriously, she’s just way too perky and bubbly anyway. She’s like a big piece of bubble wrap and it’s going to be an effort for me to not burst her bubbles, even on a good day.

The problem is that I haven’t had time in the mornings to finish my lifts because I need to be at work by 6 am this year, when I used to be able to arrive an hour later.   I can’t rely on having a planning period every day.  This building has a LOT of staff meetings.  I really can’t get up much earlier – I am getting up at 3 am now.   When I don’t get it all done, I go back the next morning to finish.  It should have worked, because I’m only supposed to lift 4 days a week and I thought that giving up the rest day between to do assistance work would be OK.  But then there was at least one or two nights a week I didn’t sleep well, so I didn’t lift well, or I didn’t lift at all because it felt a little unsafe on 3 hours of sleep. (Two evenings of parent conferences this past week.)

So it looks like I need to pay closer attention to what’s getting done and isn’t getting done.  I may have to do 2-a-day workouts on some days instead of waiting until the next morning.  I’m not excited about that.  I’m pretty drained at the end of the day after being on my feet all day.  8th graders require more energy to teach than 12th graders.  I’m wearing a knee brace now because I’ve developed tendinitis in my left knee from standing most of the day.

So many variables.  I can’t lie – there are days I feel like giving up.  But it takes less than a half second to remember what happened to me when I let my “obligations” control my life.  No.  That’s not happening again.  My mood yesterday morning when I realized how much the job has screwed up my training is how I would feel all the time.  No.  Not going there.

Something practical…

I also have pain from a bit of bicep tendinitis in my left arm.   Developed it over the last couple months.  I only feel it while pressing. The angle from decline pressing isn’t as painful, so I benched using a decline bench the other day.  I adjusted it to be as close to flat as possible.  It worked OK because the weight was light.  I didn’t like not being able to use my feet to stabilize.

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4 Comments

Filed under Bodybuilding Journal, Life, Teaching

4 responses to “37 Weeks Out: Starting to Wonder if I Can Pull This Off

  1. Shelby K

    The knee thing could be from your shoes. I had it once and Changed my shoes. Fixed it. Try to not wear the same shoes every day standing on your feet. You can do this! Take the time to work out a schedule you can live with. Pause and say a prayer about how grateful you are that your health will allow you to lift at all. I am cheering for you!

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  2. Anne

    Keep it up. Eventually a schedule will work and stick. Struggles will only make your success taste sweeter. Much admiration. There’s no way I could be up at 3 AM everyday. Count down on and yes we are ALL watching you closely lol so NO surrender.

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  3. Tamara

    Thank You for your blog! I am a 55 year old school administrator and want to enter a fitness competition. Trained all summer but school and sleep can absorb my time. I can relate to your words and wish we were closer…..I could use someone to keep me going! Good luck and keep up the posts! They help us all!

    Liked by 1 person

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