9 days out

I’m very busy. No time these days for quality computer time. But it’s important to me to document what is happening. So to kill all the birds with the fewest number of stones, I will start a blog post in the morning during a time I’m stuck on a cardio machine and add to it as stuff happens. Please forgive typos.  Please forgive that it will be disjointed and rambling.  This is going to be “quick and dirty blogging on an iPhone without glasses” for most of it.  I’ll post when I get home.  Easier to add pics on my computer.

Still losing weight.  Since I started my cut in February, I’m down about 21 pounds.  My digital scale works in increments of 0.2 lbs and that’s usually the drop I see when I weigh in the morning. Could be water, but the trainers here at the gym say it’s fat, too. Got a 10 min masters class in physiology yesterday. Something about my liver being trained, muscles needing more protein..cool stuff. Not weight loss info for the average person, though. This is contest prep and this is precision nutrition at its most geeky. Love it and grateful to have experienced help. I would have done this wrong by myself.

I appreciate the extra info I’m getting from multiple trainers and gym rats. I think they are being helpful because I’ve been putting in the hours.  For months, I’ve been working out around these same people.  I suppose everyone is getting a little caught up with the excitement.  There are two bodybuilding shows and a couple of power lifting meets on the same day.  LOTS of people training for something together.

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We got our team t-shirts yesterday. Last I heard, there are about 20 people from my gym competing in this one show. That’s a lot.  I want to do well enough so that I won’t embarrass the people who have helped me here.  Love this gym.

Met with coach this afternoon for posing practice. Watching the videos and listening to him depressed me. I’m soooo green and in over my head. He was encouraging.  But at one point, he innocently brought up that one weakness I cannot overcome – I’m 50.  I’ve always worked under the assumption that in order to be judged fairly against younger women, I’ll have to work harder than they do.  I will have to be that much BETTER to be viewed as EQUAL.  And in his super upbeat, encouraging way, he started talking about how I’m going to be ready for a second show, which I interpreted as a subtle way of saying I won’t be ready for this one.  Or at least that’s my very realistic fear.  My posing sucks. I have no stage presence at all.  And why would I???  I’m a high school math teacher.  I have “classroom presence”.  I’m the alpha dog in my yard.  I can control a room full of teenagers with a LOOK.  I’m really, really good THAT.  But it’s not the look I need for “stage presence”.

We spent time trying to figure out how I’m going to do the mandatory ab-thigh pose so that my extra skin (from weight loss) doesn’t pleat up because it looks horrible. And he spotted a weak spot in my quads he didn’t see before. Freakin’ awesome.  <insert snarky sarcastic tone here>.  I can’t work legs past Monday, so it can’t get fixed. If I were a good poser, I’d try to work around it, but I’m struggling with the basics.  So I’ve got so many negatives

I’m deflated.  I know I have a ton of support and I expect you guys will cheer me up with your comments – and I really could use it tonight.  But I’ll be ok. I’ll follow directions and I’ll work harder.  That’s all I can do.  The show is a week from Saturday.

I also realized this afternoon I ran out of Vitamin D a week ago and forgot to buy more until today. I’ll pop some of those pills and that will help.

Hair gets cut tomorrow – super excited.  For good luck, I’m going for a “Cory Everson, circa 1987” look…

Water deplete starts Monday and the carb deplete starts this Saturday. Not “low-carb”, but “no-carb” until next Friday. This will test me.  Everything will taste like chicken – because everything will be chicken.  Except for the 99% fat free turkey, which tastes like Styrofoam.

20120816-184729.jpgStopped at the store for more chicken and turkey.

 

PSYCHE!!

 

I put the sugar back.  Just playing for the pic.  🙂

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9 Comments

Filed under Bodybuilding Journal

9 responses to “9 days out

  1. lethalastronaut

    It’s getting close, isn’t it? So of course you’re getting nervous. IF you weren’t *I’D* be getting worried! Because I’d be thinking you’re living in a little world of your own, and it hadn’t really clicked in that this is all happening.

    Ironically, once you’re up on stage you’ll be fine. Because you’ll be working so hard you won’t have time to be nervous. It’s the “just before” moments that are the hardest. So try to remember that, and you’ll be okay – that the worst moment will be not while you’re doing what you’re supposed to, but just before you actually do it. The human brain is funny like that.

    And yes, we’ll be thinking of you. And yes, we all think you’re kind of awesome. So be that alpha dog. Imagine that audience is just a room of geeky, gormless, acne-covered, d-grade, failing maths students that you’re there to kick into shape. And do it! 🙂

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    • Imagine that they are students? You know, that just might work. They tell me I won’t be able to see much anyway.

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      • lethalastronaut

        Absolutely imagine they’re students! You CAN do this! You are sooooo much more awesome than all the little wimps sitting down there, who don’t have the BALLS to get up there and do what you’re doing, and travel the road you’ve travelled. You’re incredible, and I’m proud to have you as a friend.

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        • Hahaha! Actually, most of the people sitting down there have done it. It’s a friendly audience. That helps. I’ve never done anything like this before. Not one dance recital. I was in a school play in 5th grade, but that’s the extent of my performance career. I’ve decided to blast out of my comfort zone in a rather large way.

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  2. I will try and play happy fun motivational friend here for a minute because I don’t want you to fall apart this close to your show!
    Whenever you plan for something in life and have a set deadline for said thing, there are always last minute details that seem to implode everywhere and make said deadline more stressful and difficult. You obviously have put in the time and effort. But you know Murphy’s Law applies to everyone and therefor all these little stressful details that seem to be unraveling are like “the end of the world” but not really. You are smart, beautiful, and committed – use those skills to turn your goats into glory. You have to have to get this “no stage presence” mentality to go away. Being confident, knowing your body and how to pose it in the most flattering ways, acting like you own the stage for the time on it you worked so hard to earn – those assets will get you noticed – they will make you a memorable competitor. Where is She-Hulk these days? Because she would kick your self doubting ass right now.
    You can do this, and you can do this properly, with grace and dignity and power. I know you’re going to be a headcase this week because of your diet and stuff, but be the scary kind of headcase who is mean, cool, and confident… Not the self doubting sad kind. Stuff like that is obvious in your demeanor, especially on stage – so starting today, no more doubt! It’s a little too late to turn back!

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