I Should Have Danced in my Underwear More

3 weeks from right now…my first show will be done or winding up.

Lifting is fun.  Dieting is OK.  I’m scared to death of being on stage in basically something more revealing than my underwear.  My husband kids me about this because he knows I don’t even like to walk around the house in my skivvies.  I’ve been practicing doing that for a while.  At night.  When he’s sleeping.  (Guess that doesn’t really count, does it?)  Probably should have been doing more dancing in the front yard in my underwear.  That’s more appropriate for what I’m training to do on August 25th.

My routine is basically choreographed and I practice it, the quarter turns, and the mandatory poses everyday.  Coach thinks I need a new pose for the end of the routine.  OK, that’s doable.  Not sure I can do what he suggested without falling over.  I’ll try.  If it doesn’t work, I come up with something else.

The routine is herky-jerky and very, very awkward.  Painful to watch.  I have no skills for this.  I’m supposed to make it look more fluid and look like I’m comfortable posing.  I really don’t think I can fake that.  I just have to GET comfortable posing.  More practice in my red practice posing suit, I suppose.  I’ve gradually gotten down to smaller amounts of clothing – by myself.  I’ve gotten to the point where I can wear a sports bra and small shorts in the aerobics room that doesn’t have a lot of windows – again, by myself.  I have access to four gyms right now.  Three have rooms for classes, two of them have windows that make the room feel like a fishbowl.  Most people are respectful.  Every so often there is a creepazoid.  I’ve been practicing in the one I mentioned – no windows except in the door.  And even then, there will be a lookie-loo every so often.

You will see the routine when I’m not going to be mortified to show it to the Universe.  Right now, the videos I’m making are only for me and the coach.  I think I will show them all when there is a good one to compare to the really awkward one I made yesterday.  Progress is happening.  Just keep chipping away at my fears.  I will keep reminding myself that this really is my dream and I want to be on stage – almost naked – dancing around.  It will be comforting to be surrounded by others who are also dancing in their underwear in front of judges, an audience, and anyone watching the webcast online.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “I Should Have Danced in my Underwear More

  1. I can’t believe it’s only 3 weeks away! It feels like the past few have flown by – I am sure they have for you!! I hear ya on the modesty thing – I am scared to sleep in anything less than shorts and a tank top for fear the house will catch on fire and I will be stuck in a public place in a state of undress.
    I’m excited to see your routine! It’s so exciting knowing you’re putting the finishing touches on things and I personally can’t wait to see the final product!

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  2. Just in case you didn’t know…
    I’m not taking anything away from my journey or how far I’ve come at all. I’m proud, damn proud, of what I’ve accomplished. But on Aug 25th, it’s not about where I started. I’m competing against whoever shows up who is in my height class first, and then everyone for the overall if I win my class. Age is irrelevant. My “before” picture is irrelevant. This post-menopausal body has to stand up against the pups. I’ve seen women get up there for the fun of it, who aren’t in condition and haven’t trained like I’ve trained. Everyone gives them respect for their bravery. I will have failed this time around if people think that about me. I don’t want to lose, but won’t mind losing to the better competitor. But losing and being celebrated as a wanna be? No way.

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    • ^ this comment I think is the coolest thing I ever read on your blog.
      There are so many people out there who are proud of their “accomplishments” even if they didn’t put in as much work/effort whatever as the actual winners.
      I’m glad you’re not that guy. That guy is perfectly content living a life of mediocrity. We are expected to like him because “at least he tried” – but he didn’t try hard enough or he would win. I dislike that guy because he undermines the sanctity of any professional event.
      I hope you don’t get up there and just do your best. I hope you get up there and give the other comPetitors a run for their money. And then beat them.

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      • Thank you for saying that. Exactly how I feel. I think men approach this sport with all kinds of attitudes, but the women I know who are serious about bodybuilding (some compete in figure), seem to approach the sport the same way. Serious, disciplined, and badass – excellent role models for me and I’m working hard to be accepted into that elite group. Training, cardio, food, rest days, sleep…everything…is planned and executed with precision. That precision is how you can distinguish a competitor from a “wanna-be”. And I absolutely LOVE it. My first goal was to compete at a natural show, but after going to a few, I noticed I left each show depressed and disillusioned. Very few competitors. Classes were divided by age groups, so I’d probably be the only one in my 50+ “Grand Masters” group – guaranteed a trophy. Instead, I decided to compete at an NPC show in the Women’s Physique division where, as I said, I’d have some competition. I hope so, anyway.

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  3. lethalastronaut

    if you haven’t done so already, start going to the pool / beach in the skimpiest swimsuit you own. I’m one of those people who is really comfortable with being naked, and the whole human body *thing* (I’m a “lights on” kind of gal LOL), but I know that stripping off can really freak a lot of people out and they don’t expect it, so if you’re a modest sort of person normally, getting used to wearing little in public beforehand might be a really good way to “practice”.

    The more comfortable you are, the more it will help your confidence on stage. Because when the time comes, you want to be able to go out there and OWN it! 🙂

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    • That’s a great idea, but I don’t own a swimsuit that fits. Last time I bought one was for our cruise several years ago. Instead, I’m stripping down at the gym. And when the coach and I get together for posing practice, he has me working in the gym lobby. I’m fairly comfortable showing everything except my abs. When they shape up, I’ll be ripping my clothes off fairly quickly, I think.

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