Nervous Energy

I really need to be in bed with tea and the Kindle right now – not starting a blog post.

I’ve been studying for the last 6 months off and on, and for the last 4 days all day, for an exam I’m taking tomorrow.  I’m nervous.  I’m confident, but nervous.  If I pass this test, the trajectory of the rest of my life may be changed.

When the trainer/coach situation fell apart last fall, I decided to become my own trainer.  When I shared that information with a few people, I got a lot of positive feedback.  I suppose 16 years of teaching hard math to teenagers – thousands of them – has developed a skill set that could transfer over to another context.  I don’t have the technical expertise, but that can be learned.  And there is no better teacher than personal experience.   I daydream about that next career, but I’m not ready to retire from teaching.  I’m also a little preoccupied with my own training at the moment. But a few clients on the side?  During the summers?  Maybe.  Probably.  But a second income or another career was never the point.

I’m doing this for me.  Mom raised me to be self-reliant.  While that is a little bit of a challenge inside of a marriage, it’s a most excellent predisposition for just about everything else.  When I identified a fear of math was holding me back, I got a math degree.  When I wanted to be a better teacher, I did the national certification thing to fast forward my development in that area.  When I wanted to learn about cooperative learning in secondary math, I flew myself across the country to attend a conference presented by the guy who literally wrote the book on cooperative learning. And this blog is all about the greatest challenge in my life – reclaiming my health and becoming a bodybuilder.

Anything I’ve accomplished that I’m proud of started with a need to conquer a fear.  I will not let fears define my life by putting me in a box with invisible walls.

So what happened when I depended others’ expertise about my training?  I didn’t get what I needed.  I was afraid everything was going to fall apart.  Fear was attempting to define me again.  NO!  That’s when I decided to become a trainer.

The process doesn’t make me any sort of expert in the field of bodybuilding – the field I’m playing in these days.  But I have learned a lot about basic stuff that I needed to know to have confidence in the decisions I’m making about my training.

No matter what happens tomorrow, I’ve learned a ton and I’ll still have all the reference materials.  But if all goes well, by this time tomorrow, I’ll have a personal training certification.  A good one, too.  National Academy of Sports Medicine, NASM.  Heard others are easier to get, but NASM is well respected in the industry.  I’ll update the blog either way.  Nothing but full disclosure here.  That’s the promise I made.

Besides, I never do anything the easy way.

 

 

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Nervous Energy

  1. Guess know what to pray for today, Tammy. You are in my thoughts 🙂

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