One very fuzzy dream I have is to turn all of this into a book. I’m a normal middle-aged woman who is doing something a little scary. I never was an athlete. I was a typical 40-something woman who worked too much and felt like I needed to take care of everybody except myself. I gained weight and developed high blood pressure. The “experts” I consulted at the time told me that a “woman my age” would have a hard time losing weight because my metabolism slowed down. No kidding! I was sitting at 44% body fat. So I started down a different path taking small steps. Found new experts to help me. It’s not an unusual story. Many have done it. But the bodybuilding part? I think that’s a little unusual for a woman my age. Heck, it seems to be unusual for a woman – period. The bodybuilding isn’t the thing I want the book to be about. If I ever write it (and I have no idea how to organize it or what the book will be about), I know what I want to communicate. I want people to feel encouraged and empowered to do the things that scare them. You know, the “someday I will” things. I was encouraged and empowered by others, so I guess feel obliged to pay it forward.
I started this blog thinking it would help me document things for that book. I also promised that I would be as transparent as possible about my journey. Thing is though, being transparent makes me feel a little vulnerable.
Ok, so why do I think I’m in my own way again?
Hubby Paul posted a link to my blog on his Facebook page this morning. He’s proud of me. He wanted to share it with his friends. A very loving thing to do. But I freaked out a little. His Facebook site is public. I’ve had some negative comments in the past that I let distract me. Some direct and some subtle. A few hours after I asked him to delete the post, I realized that he’s right. It shouldn’t matter. If I’m going to do this, I need to ignore that stuff. If I’m serious about sharing my story in a book, I will be sharing it with everyone – including people who will be insensitive and with people who may want me to fail.
OK. Let’s do a quick inventory…my shoulders are getting broader. My support system is rock solid.
So bring it on. Let’s go public. Sticks and stones. Not only can I handle negative comments, I can probably deflect the sticks and stones, as well.