I need to get out of my own way – again.

One very fuzzy dream I have is to turn all of this into a book.  I’m a normal middle-aged woman who is doing something a little scary.  I never was an athlete.  I was a typical 40-something woman who worked too much and felt like I needed to take care of everybody except myself.   I gained weight and developed high blood pressure.  The “experts” I consulted at the time told me that a “woman my age” would have a hard time losing weight because my metabolism slowed down.  No kidding!  I was sitting at 44% body fat.   So I started down a different path taking small steps.  Found new experts to help me.  It’s not an unusual story.  Many have done it.  But the bodybuilding part?   I think that’s a little unusual for a woman my age.  Heck, it seems to be unusual for a woman – period.  The bodybuilding isn’t the thing I want the book to be about.  If I ever write it (and I have no idea how to organize it or what the book will be about), I know what I want to communicate.  I want people to feel encouraged and empowered to do the things that scare them.   You know, the “someday I will” things.  I was encouraged and empowered by others, so I guess feel obliged to pay it forward.

I started this blog thinking it would help me document things for that book.  I also promised that I would be as transparent as possible about my journey.   Thing is though, being transparent makes me feel a little vulnerable.

Ok, so why do I think I’m in my own way again?

Hubby Paul posted a link to my blog on his Facebook page this morning.  He’s proud of me.  He wanted to share it with his friends.  A very loving thing to do.  But I freaked out a little.  His Facebook site is public.   I’ve had some negative comments in the past that I let distract me.  Some direct and some subtle.  A few hours after I asked him to delete the post, I realized that he’s right.  It shouldn’t matter.  If I’m going to do this, I need to ignore that stuff.  If I’m serious about sharing my story in a book, I will be sharing it with everyone – including people who will be insensitive and with people who may want me to fail.

OK.  Let’s do a quick inventory…my shoulders are getting broader.  My support system is rock solid.

So bring it on.   Let’s go public.  Sticks and stones.  Not only can I handle negative comments, I can probably deflect the sticks and stones, as well.

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4 Comments

Filed under Motivation

4 responses to “I need to get out of my own way – again.

  1. This is where we separate the wannabes from the willbees. The place where you step off the ledge. Once you ‘go public’, so to speak, there’s no turning back, is there? You are no longer protected by the veil of privacy. But you are ready, Tammy! I have gotten a sense over the past couple of months of a different Tammy who is so much more confident and centered. There is a still some of the old Tammy (thank God) who cares about her students, loves her husband, is soft in the head when it comes to the four-legged mutts, but other than that, a different person is coming out and I think you like it! Who wouldn’t? You’re strong, self-assured, and you know what you want and where you want to go. There will always be those that doubt you – even Jesus had critics. So full steam ahead and no second thoughts!

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    • Thank you, Marie! You’ve been with me since the beginning of this thing. I appreciate your insights so much. I’m very grateful that you are there. All the way over there, but there. Thank you.

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  2. Lenae Luke

    I saw that Facebook post, and am now subscribing to your blog. One promise from me. NO JUDGMENT….. Oh, and your hubby is VERY proud of you! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your journey. GO TAMMY!

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