I’m trying to cut fat. To do that, I’ve cut my carbs in half, I’ve bumped my calorie burns up with cardio, and the calorie deficits are as high as they were when I first started losing weight two years ago. So I suppose I just don’t have much gas in the tank.
I’ve been pretty strict about the doing 15 reps and timing the rests between sets. But I’ve had to cut the number of sets I do. I don’t know if that’s normal for week three of this 15’s phase, but it’s not my normal. And I have not been able to increase the weight I lift from one week to the next. Increasing weight is an indicator for me that I’m making improvements. So I don’t feel like I’m getting stronger.
School started this week. My sleep is impacted. I’ve only gotten 5 or 6 hours of sleep every night this week. But I’m still at the gym by 5 am. And back again for workout #2 by 3:45. I’ve been doing cardio in the am and lifting in the pm. SLBM flared up on day #1 of this week, so I’ve been in pain, too.
I’m working every weekend and I had Monday, Labor Day set up as a rest day – a real one – no workouts, no work at either job. Now that’s not going to happen. Peanut needs to go to the vet for oral surgery on Tuesday morning and I need to get my measurements done on Tuesday afternoon, so I can’t workout that day. (Life happens when you’re busy making other plans.) That means Monday can’t be a rest day. And I’m scheduled to do quads that day. Quads on day #7. Freakin’ awesome. Got hurt this week on quads when I was fresh. Because I’m scared to get hurt again, I probably won’t push myself too hard, and if I do that, I’ll feel even more dissatisfied with the program.
This bodybuilding thing is such a head game. I miss getting feedback and I’m discouraged when I can’t increase the weight I’m moving. I think my performance in the gym should be expected considering the circumstances. I hope the fat is coming off. I haven’t felt this deprived since…um… ever. The last time I dieted like this, I didn’t workout so hard. The low carbs make me a little tired, but a LOT moody.
But there is always something good to hang on to. My massage on Wednesday was wonderful (see previous blog). I started tanning this week. I can’t afford it, but I would need to start working on a base tan next spring, so I thought I’d treat myself and start now. My theory is that it might improve my mood to have a few minutes each day to just lay still and absorb energy. And if I have a tan, I’ll see muscles. I get motivated when I see muscles.
This week, my students were amazing. One new student stayed after class into lunch to tell me that my story and my “before” picture inspired her. She wants to be a neurosurgeon and she feels people in her life do not think she can do it. I figured out last year that kids will connect my transformation story to their own challenges. That’s cool. And today, my calculus class – who’ve been my kids for a year already – saw my calluses on the Elmo when I was teaching. They told me that my calluses were “legit”. How wonderful is that?
Depending on how the measurements turn out, I might use the rest of next week to give the bod a rest. Makes sense considering the program will be screwed up when I move the rest day from Monday to Tuesday. Light workouts – one a day. Maybe take myself off supplements for a week. I’ll decide after measurements. Maybe trainer will have an opinion, but who knows? He’s been “disEngaged” from my program lately, which is to be expected considering the change in our professional relationship. (A pun. Hahahaha! I think it’s funny. He might not, but he told me he’s not reading the blog, so what’s the harm?)